The Good Grub

If you ever find yourself hopelessly lost in our neck of the woods and in need of some nourishment for both the belly and your Mayberry-esk fantasies then we know just where to take you. We're so generous we'll even give you a choice :)....

Harvey's Pirate Restaurant or the Dixie Freeze.

You pick.

Go ahead.

You'll want to lick your plate clean at either one so its really just a matter of decor or which side of the street you happen to be walking on.

 (Do you feel like crossing the street or not?....hhhmmmm)

Choice # 1 - Harvey's Pirate Restaurant. Yep, thats its real name. Its obvious no one consulted Jack Sparrow about the signage. Just walk by real fast - you won't even notice Scary Toothless One-eyed Pirateman.

Location: South Pittsburg, TN next to the fire station

Decor: Lets call it "Shabby Chic Halloween" or maybe leave off the chic:)

Sadly, no one actually dresses like a pirate - and if you were to give them a good "AARRGGGHH! ME HARDYS!" they'd just wonder what was in your Cheerios that morning and rush some sense-restoring sweet tea to your table stat! 

The black and orange facade was chosen to coordinate with the South Pittsburg Pirate's school colors. Yep, Aunt Bea would be horrified!


For all you overly analytical, logical folks out there...here's the corresponding mathematical equation:

High School Football + Nothing else to do in our small-town kingdom = Football is king.

All the tables and chairs look like they came out of your grandma's kitchen 30 years ago and none of the fine china you'll be dining on matches. It makes your lunch or dinner far more interactive. You have plenty of time to guess who's going to get the mismatched plates before your entree arrives.

Don't worry...you won't care once you get a taste of Harvey's giant cheeseburger...that's really what they call it.

Honest.

**Pssst...Don't tell anyone - but the Pirate's burgers make the Dixie Freeze burgers cry for their mommas they're so good. But don't tell anyone. We like our scary little pirate place and would hate for it to be overrun with papparazi and celebrities.

We're completely objective about this analysis. Its a really complicated, smarty-pants formula involving the amount of grease running down your chin divided by the amount of grease absorbed by the bun, multiplied by the number of napkins you have to use...tricky, tricky stuff**

Menu: Burgers, chili dogs, grilled cheese, chicken fingers. I also hear Harvey dishes up a mean breakfast but I've not ventured that far down the plank into Pirateland. Harvey is still in the kitchen as cook and depending on his mood you may or may not get exactly what you ordered...so come with an open mind and carefree tastebuds ;)

Or its a swim with the fishes for you! (Harvey will make you walk the plank with the blunt end of his greasy old spatula!)

However, if you're really worried about it, the pirate waiter will just hand you the ordering pad and you can write it down yourself. These pirates understand ocd landlovers.


Choice # 2: The Dixie Freeze (We do live in the South folks)

Location: Across the street from the firestation and Harvey's


Decor: Closer to the "Dive" end of "Diners, Drive-In's, and Dives" but the tables and chairs do match. We'll call it "Vintage Retro." A.K.A. - nothing has changed or been replaced in 30 years. Dark paneling is still "in" around here. Who knew I lived in such a progressive place?! This is really what the going green movement is all about anyway....


Waste not want not. Recycling. Repurposing.


Here they skip that whole process and simply NEVER change anything. Seems smart to me.


Work smart - not hard, right?


Menu: Plate specials daily - ask anyone in the neighborhood and they can tell you when Meatloaf Day is or when to show up for Chicken and Dumplings. They also serve burgers, chicken, hotdogs, and their infamous Dagwood Sandwich. I've heard their milkshakes could possibly bring about world peace with their sweet gooness, but I haven't tried one yet. I'll le you know.


So, what's it to be? Are you feelin' more in touch with your adventurous pirate seafaring side or your nostalgic southern comfort food loving inner child?


;)